사랑합니다 Kam Mul

{ Fear, uncertainty and discomfort are your compasses toward growth. }-unknown

{ When in doubt, choose change. } -Lily Leung

Probably close to the face I made when he said I had to leave.

I excitedly walked into my Mentor Teacher (Hang Gul)'s classroom the end of October, wanting to tell him that I would be extending my contract and staying for another 6 months and that I was excited because now I could play in the huge volleyball tourney in May (which he had told me about the day he met me after finding out I played vb in high school!) I did not get the response I was expecting. I was expecting happiness and excitement. Instead I got this.. 'Uh, Kristen, we will not have TaLK program.' What? They hate me? Why can't I stay? I was sad, mad, confused, angry, hurt. It was followed by a 'if you extend you must change schools.' I was dumbfounded. I didn't want to change schools. I loved my kids. I loved my school and the teachers. I was expecting to stay there, to continue with these kids, teaching them more and seeing them grow, learn and change for the better. I loved them. I didn't want to change. I wanted things to stay the way it was. I wanted to cry but instead I said, ok and walked out.

I made it on the wall, with real teachers.

The next couple of weeks were chaos. I didn't know what was going on, so I was talking to the higher up, Tim, and also to my MT and other people in my program trying to find another school to go to. Or figure out if I even wanted to stay in Korea anymore. As you know, now, I stayed. But a lot changed those next few months. I put more care and love into my lessons. I looked at the kids with a different set of eyes. I knew I would be leaving them all too soon, and I just wanted to love them and let them know that they are important.

grade 4, me and my 2 co-scholars Eugene and Tina.

the hallway to my classroom.

my first grader, Andrew :)

I had a few particularly bad kids in my 1st grade class. They were 2 monk boys, now I don't know if I said much about the monk children, but they are orphans, who got dropped of at a Buddhist Temple by their parents at various ages. Some remember being dropped off, some don't, some know their parents still but most don't. They all have shaved heads and wear gray 'monk' suits. Everything they wear is gray. All of it. I can't talk about family or God because of fear of offending them, or triggering problems. 

So anyway, these two little monk boys, Andrew and Alex were just the worst. They would fight and kick and cry and scream, never listen even when I knew they understood me, nothing. I was about to give up. Until one day (after I knew I would be leaving Kam Mul) I sat down right next to Andrew, during a Halloween coloring assignment. I started coloring my own sheet. I picked up the purple and started to color the jacket of one monster, Andrew did the exact same. I picked up green and colored the monsters skin, he did the same. This continued until we were both finished with the exact same picture. Tears formed, it was amazing. He looked up to me, we bonded and from then on he was much better in class. 


I realized I hadn't been trying, or caring about my students. That I wasn't giving them the attention and love they desired. Before I was just 'going through the motions'. I was being stern and force feeding them English words, thinking that was the best way to get them to learn, to sit and listen to me speak. I was throwing together power points, hoping they would learn something, that I wouldn't fail as a teacher. However, I learned that these poor kids were just wanting to be loved, to get attention that every kid needs, to feel like they are important. I finally saw that, it took me awhile, but I now understand. Love is above all else. Once love is present, everything else will fall into place.

Halloween Party - masks and some face/hand painting. (grade 1)

John, grade 3, playing some Jenga.

From that day on, it was less about 'you must learn English' and more about let's have fun together and learn along the way. We did much more art projects, made food, watched some movies and youtube videos, talked a lot about cultural differences. We did more of what the students wanted and in the process I think (and hope) they got more excited about English and it didn't seem like work, but play rather.

eating Dolores' famous pudding chocolate goodness, which
they LOVED! :)

we made pb&j sandwiches. they had
never had them!

Halloween party fun.. cookie on face game and the bag game with grade 6.

Twister with grade grade 1 and Christmas gift exchange.

My last day at Kam Mul, Jan. 15th, was a bit rough, busy and filled with mixed feelings. Good-byes are hard - it was my last day with my kids, my co-scholars. I also had paperwork to finish and cleaning to do. I was sad but also happy for a break and looking forward to my trip to the Philippines and Kuala Lumpur. Tina and Eugene, my amazing co-scholars, wrote a nice (well I assume it was - but it was in Korean - so I really have no clue) little good-bye that they read to grade 3 (my favorite class and last class period at Kam Mul). Tina and half of the class were in tears. It was so sad, since she had been there for 2 years! It was tough, change is hard, but I am certain I will see them again.. soon.

grade 3, on the last day with the Iowa postcards I gave them!

Billy, one of my favorites - even though I shouldn't pick favorites!

I'm so grateful for the oppurtunites and for the kids and teachers and staff I met at Kam Mul. I really don't think it was a coincidence that I got placed there. It was perfect! And as much as I didn't want to leave, I guess change is good and change will help me grow and help me become a better teacher. Getting too comfortable in a place puts you at a stand still. I'm for sure not at a stand still now. I've got 60 some new names to learn, and figure out each of their abilities. It's a challenge but a worthwhile one.